A disrupted adoption match is one of the most difficult experiences a hopeful adoptive family can face. After months or even years of waiting, preparing, and dreaming about welcoming a child into your family, learning that an adoption will not move forward can be heartbreaking.
At Adoption Angels, we understand the emotional investment that comes with every adoption opportunity. While no one can completely take away the pain of a disrupted match, having the right support and understanding can help you navigate this difficult season with hope.
What Is a Disrupted Adoption Match?
A disrupted adoption match occurs when an expectant mother and adoptive family have been matched, but the adoption does not move forward. This may happen because an expectant mother decides to parent her child or because circumstances change before placement.
Although this can be incredibly painful for adoptive parents, it is important to remember that adoption is a lifelong decision. Every expectant mother deserves the time, support, and freedom to make the choice she believes is best for herself and her baby. In Texas, an expectant mother cannot legally sign adoption paperwork until after her baby is born, giving her time to make the decision that is right for her.
While there are never guarantees in adoption, Adoption Angels works closely with every expectant mother throughout her pregnancy. Through ongoing counseling, education, and support, we help ensure she fully understands her options and is making an informed decision without pressure.
Protect Your Heart While You Wait
Sharing your adoption journey with family and friends is exciting, but when you are matched with an expectant mother, it can be helpful to keep that news within a small circle of trusted loved ones.
If the match is disrupted, having fewer people to update can make an already difficult situation a little easier to process. Your closest family and friends can still provide encouragement and support while giving you the privacy you may need to grieve.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
The loss of a hoped-for adoption is real. Even though you were not the one carrying the baby, you were preparing your heart and your home for a child you already loved.
Give yourself permission to grieve. There is no right or wrong way to process the disappointment, and there is no timeline for healing. Some people want to talk through every emotion, while others need quiet time to reflect. If you are adopting as a couple, remember that you may not grieve in the same way. Be patient with one another and continue communicating openly.
As you begin to heal, consider these steps:
- Talk with your Adoption Angels coordinator or a professional counselor about your emotions.
- Write in a journal to help process your thoughts and feelings.
- Lean on trusted family members and friends instead of isolating yourself.
- Take care of your physical health by getting enough rest, eating well, and staying active.
- Spend time outdoors or engage in activities that bring you peace.
- Try to see the situation through the expectant mother's perspective. While your disappointment is valid, she was also facing one of the most difficult decisions of her life.
Above all, remind yourself that this outcome is not your fault. A disrupted match does not mean you have done anything wrong, nor does it mean your adoption journey is over.
Deciding When You're Ready to Move Forward
After experiencing a disrupted match, it's completely normal to feel hesitant about beginning the process again. You may wonder if you can handle another disappointment.
Only you and your spouse can decide when the time is right to move forward. Some families need weeks, while others need months. There is no deadline for healing.
Many families who experience a disrupted match eventually go on to welcome the child they were meant to parent through adoption. While that does not erase the pain of what happened, it can provide hope that your story is still unfolding.
When you are ready, the Adoption Angels team will be here to walk beside you with honesty, compassion, and support every step of the way.
We're Here for You
Although we work closely with every expectant mother throughout her pregnancy, adoption always involves real people making deeply personal decisions. Because of that, there can never be absolute certainty.
What we can promise is that we will always be honest, compassionate, and committed to supporting both expectant mothers and adoptive families throughout the adoption journey.
If you would like to learn more about adopting through Adoption Angels, we'd love to answer your questions. Fill out our contact form or call us at (210) 227-2227.
Building your family through adoption takes courage, hope, and perseverance. No matter where you are in your journey, you don't have to walk it alone.
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Hello & Thank You , First, we want to thank you for taking a look into our lives and reviewing our book. We can’t even begin to understand what you are going through, but we pray that God continues to give you strength and courage through all the emotions you are feeling. We know that you are a selfless woman just by knowing that you are choosing to create an adoption plan for your child. Our names are Jose and Daniella. We met each other in 2014, and we got married in 2016. A year later, we began trying to have a child of our own. After three years of seeing a fertility doctor and seven years of trying different treatments, we were unsuccessful. Jose and I want to expand our family, and we know adoption is the answer to our prayers. We both have siblings we grew up with, and we hope that we are able to add another sibling to expand our love and family in the near future. We want you to know that your child is already loved by so many, including grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and many more family members. We promise to raise your child with unconditional love, provide many life skills, compassion, respect, morals, and provide any education your child dreams of. We also believe in God and would love to raise your child knowing who God is. If you choose us to be part of your adoption plan, we can assure you that we will share your child’s adoption story with them from the very beginning. We will celebrate the love you have for them and honor the decision you made. Thank you once again for this opportunity to get to know us. This process has been one we prayed and cried about, as having a family of our own has been a difficult journey for us both. As you glance through our book, we pray that you see the love we share with each other, our families, our faith, and the joy we have for the future journey we have prayed about. Whichever decision you make, we want you to know that you will forever be in our prayers. Sincerely, Jose & Daniella
Hello & Thank You , It is nice to "meet" you. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this letter about us. Our names are Caitlin and Josh. We cannot begin to imagine what you may be feeling right now, but we know that you love your baby deeply and want what is best for them. We admire and respect you for your decision to create an adoption plan and recognize the courage and strength it takes to get here. We have been married for 10 years and have wanted to start a family for a long time. After going through IVF and experiencing losses, we felt God calling us to adoption. Two years ago, we were blessed to become parents through the adoption of our daughter. She is truly the answer to every prayer we have ever prayed. We would love for her to grow up with a sibling and feel called to adopt again. We have a wonderful open adoption with our daughter’s birth mom and hope to have that same kind of relationship with you if that is something you would like. We are Christian and very family-oriented with large, loving families close by. It is important to us that our daughter and any future children grow up surrounded by love and support from not just us but from our extended family as well. We are blessed to see our families often and to travel together for holidays and special occasions. It brings us such joy to watch our daughter play with her cousins and experience those special family moments. Our greatest hope is to raise our children to know and love the Lord above all else. We want them to be kind, strong, and self-sufficient with a good work ethic and confidence in who they are. We will always encourage them to discover their passions and will support them however we can so they can reach any goal they may have for the future. We are eager to share more with you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you through this journey. We pray for peace and health through the time ahead. We are happy to answer any questions that you may have about us. We appreciate your time and consideration and would love the opportunity to share more with you. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you on this journey. We are praying for your peace and health in the days ahead, and we would be honored to answer any questions you may have about us. Sincerely, Josh & Caitlin
Hello & Thank You , We are Chelsea and Nick, and we are truly honored and grateful that you are considering us as potential adoptive parents for your child. We want to acknowledge the immense courage and strength it takes to choose adoption, and we deeply appreciate the thought and care you are giving to this decision. Our journey to adoption has been deeply personal. While we have faced struggles with infertility, our desire to adopt began long before we were married. Growing up, Chelsea was surrounded by adoption. Two of her siblings, her aunt, and her uncle were all adopted, so building a family this way has always felt natural to her. Our faith in God plays a central role in our lives, guiding us to love, serve, and trust His plan. Adoption reflects the love and grace we believe He has shown us, and it is a path we hold very dear. After facing challenges and experiencing a loss, we were so blessed to welcome our daughter, Sofia, into our lives through adoption. She is everything to us, our little miracle and a daily reminder that love and hope can turn any hardship into something beautiful. For us, adoption represents not only the joy and love of expanding our family but also the incredible strength and love of parents like you who make this choice. We are surrounded by family and friends who have embraced our journey and who share in our joy and commitment to providing a nurturing and supportive home. As parents, we hope to offer a child a home where they will feel cherished and encouraged to grow, celebrate their uniqueness, and pursue their dreams in every way possible. Should we be chosen, we want your child to always know how special, wanted, and deeply loved they are—not only by our family and us but also by you. We want you to know that you will always hold a meaningful and cherished place in their life and in our family. Please know that your decision, whatever it may be, is honored and supported. Thank you for considering us as potential adoptive parents and for the hope you bring to families like ours. Please know that you are in our prayers. With heartfelt appreciation, Nick & Chelsea
Hello & Thank You , Thank you so much for considering us as potential adoptive parents for your child. My name is Brittany, and my husband is Cody. We have been together for over ten years and live here in Texas with our two young boys and three dogs. We feel incredibly blessed that you are taking the time to read our story as we pursue adoption to grow our family. Adoption has always been close to our hearts. Even when we were young and best friends, we often talked about building a big family, long before we understood the medical challenges we would later face. Cody was adopted by his father at the age of two and grew up in a loving home with his parents and three siblings. I was raised in Colorado with my parents and sister, whom I love dearly. We are both blessed with large, supportive families who are excited to walk alongside us on this journey. We truly cannot imagine the emotions you are feeling as you create an adoption plan. Your strength and selflessness are deeply admirable. We want you to feel comfortable, supported, and loved throughout this process. If you choose us, your child will always know their adoption story, the courage behind your decision, and where it all began. Your child will be surrounded by love in our home, with two fierce big brothers who will treasure them, dedicated parents, and a whole community of family and friends. No matter what decision you make, please know you will remain in our thoughts and prayers. Cody and I have faced unimaginable challenges together, and through them we have built a marriage rooted in faith, strength, passion, and unconditional love. Our children are always our top priority. Cody’s dedication has allowed me to stay home and focus fully on raising our children, which has been an incredible blessing. He is hardworking, driven, and devoted to our family, and I am passionate about motherhood and caring for our children each day. Our sons are truly our miracles. While I was able to carry both pregnancies, each came with life-threatening complications. After welcoming our second child, we knew that adoption was the path God was leading us toward. Over the past two years, we have prayerfully and thoughtfully considered this decision, and we believe adoption is the next step in making our family whole. Becoming parents has been the greatest joy of our lives, and we cannot wait to share that love with another child. Love, Cody & Brittany
Hello & Thank You , Thank you so much for taking the time to get to know us. We cannot begin to understand the emotions you may be feeling or what you may be going through, but we recognize your courage and feel truly honored that you would consider us. We want to share a little bit about our family with you. We are Jason, Vanessa, and Alex. We have always wanted to have a family and have known for some time that adoption would be our choice for building a family. I, Vanessa, learned as a teenager that I would not be able to have biological children. When we began dating, I told Jason about my experience with infertility, and I was moved by his support and openness to adoption. In 2023, we were blessed to be matched with amazing birth parents when Alexander was born. Our hearts have been so full, and we have been so grateful to become Alex’s adoptive parents. Both our lives have been touched by adoption. As a toddler, I was adopted by my stepdad, and Jason has a cousin who adopted children after fostering. We also have friends who have adopted, and we have a close friend whose sister placed her child for adoption. We've listened to their experiences to help us understand their unique stories and perspectives. We have a wonderful relationship with Alex’s birth parents. We have in-person visits with them and regularly share photos and updates through texts. We look forward to getting to know you and welcome an open adoption relationship that feels comfortable and right for you. We believe it is important for your child to know their adoption story and that your decision was made from a place of deep love. They will know how special they and their birth family are. We are so excited for the opportunity to build our family. We are committed to providing a loving, nurturing, stable home for your child to thrive. For us, parenting means having unconditional love, lots of story times, holding space for our children’s emotions, encouraging their curiosity, enjoying the outdoors, laughter, faith, and spending time with friends and extended family. We appreciate your time and consideration. We will continue to pray for you and the decision you are making. We truly hope you feel at peace with the decision that feels right for you. Sincerely, Jason & Vanessa
Hello & Thank You , We are Dani, Joe, Emerson, and Benjamin. Nice to meet you! We are so grateful to you for taking the time to get to know us a little better. We realize you may be feeling many different emotions at this time, and we want you to know that we will be supportive of you and your child. We will care about you, too. Our hope in creating this book is that you'll feel the love, laughter, and joy in our daily lives and our adventures, and be able to imagine what a life with us could be like for your child. We have two children, Benjamin and Emerson. After complications from Dani's pregnancy with Emerson that led to a hysterectomy, Dani is no longer able to carry a child. In 2023, we adopted our son, Benjamin, and have an open relationship with his birth family. We are so grateful to his birth family for choosing us and trusting us to raise their child. We are excited to grow our family once again through adoption and are thankful to you for taking the time to get to know us. If you choose us, your child will grow up alongside two sweet and playful big brothers who are curious, energetic, and full of love. They will also have a gentle golden retriever nearby for snuggles and games of fetch. Our home is filled with laughter and connection, and we are intentional about creating a space where our children feel secure, encouraged, and deeply loved. We acknowledge that you have a very important role in your child’s life, and we would like to have an open adoption so that your child will know their story. It is important to us that we honor your wishes regarding the level of openness you would like in your child’s life. We will keep the promises we make together and always put your child’s needs at the center of our decisions. We both value kindness, curiosity, humor, and a love of learning, and we strive to model those values every day. We want our children to grow up feeling unconditionally loved, seen, heard, and supported. Even when life feels challenging, we face it together and always put our kids first. We are so excited to grow our family through adoption and would be honored to give your child that same love and support. Thank you for taking the time to read our story. We would truly love to get to know you. With Love, Joe & Dani
Hello & Thank You , We’d like to start by saying how much we admire your courage and selflessness in creating an adoption plan. We recognize you have an overwhelming decision to make, and we are devoted to providing love and support. If you would like us to, we would be honored to walk this journey with you. Adoption has been a lifelong dream for both of us. We believe sharing the joys of life and this beautiful world with a child is life's greatest blessing. My name is Ashley, and my husband of nine years is George. Four years ago, we were blessed to welcome our daughter Gianna through adoption. Adoption has always been deeply personal to us because it shaped both of our families. My older brother and I were adopted by our father at different times in our lives, and George’s close-knit extended family continues to grow through adoption. Family means everything to us. Your child will grow up surrounded by cousins who understand family is created through love, not blood. Our large supportive family has so much unconditional love to share. We want your baby to grow up knowing they were chosen and loved from the very beginning. In our family, culture is celebrated daily. Our daughter, Gianna, is biracial, and we are committed to supporting her identity by surrounding her with pride and belonging. We cook dinner together every night, filling our home with music, stories, and the flavors of the places we come from. We travel often, seek out communities that reflect our children, and participate in local cultural festivals and events. We would do the same for any child who joins our family. We respect you and this journey. If chosen, we are fully open to communication in any way which feels right to you, from pictures and updates to in-person visits. It is in a child’s best interest to have a large and loving support system. We want your baby to always know where they come from and how loved they have been from the very beginning. We have an authentic, close relationship with Gianna’s birth parents, and we would hope for a similar relationship with you if that is what you desire. Thank you again for taking the time to get to know us. We are forever grateful for the chance to grow our family. Sharing this journey with you would be our honor. Love, George & Ashley
Hello & Thank You , Thank you so much for taking the time to learn about us and consider us as you explore your options. We know this isn't an easy decision. While we cannot know what you are experiencing, we truly respect the care and thought that goes into creating an adoption plan. We are Douglas and Pamela. We’ve been together for thirteen years and married for nine. Throughout our relationship, we’ve talked about building our family through adoption, and Pamela has known since she was a teen that adoption would likely be the safest way to start a family. While we did spend time hoping to conceive, we later learned that pregnancy would come with significant medical risks, including a very high chance of miscarriage and complications that could affect both her and the baby. After many visits with doctors and thoughtful conversations with each other, we chose adoption as the right path for us. We’re excited to open our hearts, our home, and share everyday moments together as a family! If chosen, your child will be raised in a loving, stable environment where they are deeply cared for and supported. They will grow up knowing their story began with love and care. We will always speak of you with respect and gratitude. Thank you again for considering us as adoptive parents for your child. Whatever you decide, we wish you peace, support, and kindness as you move forward. Sincerely, Douglas & Pamela
Hello & Thank You , From the very beginning, we want you to know you are seen and valued. We can’t imagine the strength it takes to walk this journey, and we truly admire your courage. As it says in Isaiah 41:10, “Do not fear for I am with you. I will strengthen you and help you.” We pray you feel that promise wrapped around you. That you are not alone, that you are supported and that God’s strength is carrying you through each step. Thank you for taking the time to get to know us. It feels hard to put into words how much love and gratitude we already feel as we write this. Our names are Abbey and Jesus, and we live in Texas with our two dogs, Drax and Willow. Little did we know that a simple haircut would be the start of our lifelong adventure together. We have been together for eight years and married for almost 5 years. From that day forward, we built a life full of love, laughter, and faith. Every step has brought us closer, and now our hearts are ready to welcome a child with the same care and devotion we’ve poured into each other. We later found out that we could not have biological children due to infertility issues. While that news was difficult, it only strengthens what we already knew in our hearts that we wanted to be parents and share all the love we have to give. Adoption felt like the path God was leading us toward, and it has been calling to us ever since. We are so excited to open our hearts and home to your child. We promise they will always feel safe, loved, cared for, and supported. We believe it is important for your child to understand their adoption story and to grow up knowing how deeply loved by everyone involved. The relationship between a child and their birth family is significant, and we strongly support an open adoption. However comfortable you are, we would truly welcome you to be a part of their life. Thank you for opening your heart to read our story. No matter what you decide, we wish you peace, comfort, and endless love for you and your child. With love and gratitude, Jesus & Abbey
