5 Tips Every Birth Parent Should Know for a Successful Adoption Journey

5 Tips Every Birth Parent Should Know for a Successful Adoption Journey

5 Tips Every Birth Parent Should Know for a Successful Adoption Journey

 Adoption is a complex and emotional decision for everyone involved. Although people mean well, comments like “Why did you give up your baby?” “Do you miss your real parents?” and “How much did you have to pay?” aren’t helpful.


Understanding and avoiding negative comments goes a long way in helping everyone feel safe and loved. Using respectful language is vital not only for those directly in an adoptive relationship but also for those on the outside. 

 

Let’s examine some of those inclusive phrases that may help everyone become more comfortable with adoption.


Misunderstood Adoption Terms

The concept of adoption has been around for centuries. Only recently have experts begun to honestly look at how adoption affects not only the biological parents but also the adoptee and adoptive parents as well. 

 

A century ago, a phrase like “put up for adoption” was common to refer to adoptees. Orphan trains operated from the late 19th century through the early 20th century, transporting children from the crowded cities in the East to towns in the West. 

 

Children were put up on a stage or steps where potential adoptive parents could get a good look at them. Often, parents would choose them for their ability to work a farm or ranch.

 

The terms “give up” or “give away” were used when a birth mother had no idea who adopted their children or where they went. Unwed pregnancies brought shame to a family. 

 

Society assumed that a young woman would willingly give her child away to “save face.” However, both she and her child suffered greatly from not knowing their true identity and adoption circumstances.

 

Other phrases, such as “real parents,” are hurtful to adoptive parents who have lovingly and sacrificially raised their adoptive children. They are not the biological parents, but that doesn’t make their family any less “real.”


In turn, adoptive parents must not refer to their children as “our adopted children.” Regardless of whether they have biological children or not, all children in their family should be valued, loved, and nurtured. 


Adoption Phrases You Should Use

As adoption hopefully becomes more mainstream and acceptable, understanding the correct adoptive terms is critical. Adoption stigma is, unfortunately, very real in the 21st century. 

 

Family, friends, and even clergy heavily criticize birth mothers for choosing adoption over parenting. As a result, many women often feel their only option is abortion because they have no other support.


Some adoptees struggle deeply with feelings of rejection and emotionally struggle with their birth mother’s decisions. Referring to them as “orphans” or without “real parents” can be traumatizing.


Others accuse legitimate adoption agencies and adoptive couples of being industries that take babies from mothers for personal gain or profit. Society has much to learn. 


Phrases to Use:

  • Instead of “give up,” “give away,” or “put up,” use the phrases “make an adoption plan” or “place a child for adoption.” A birth mother today can choose the adoptive family for her child. She creates a plan that will give them the life she wants them to have.
  • Instead of saying “real parents” or “natural parents,” use the phrases “biological parents” or “birth parents.”
  • Instead of saying a child “is adopted,” say “was adopted.”
  • Instead of an “unwanted” or “illegitimate” child, refer to them as “unexpected” or “unplanned.”
  • Instead of saying birth parents “relinquished,” “surrendered,” or “abandoned” their child, say they chose to “Complete the adoption” or “Place the child through adoption."


About Adoption Angels

Adoption Angels is a licensed adoption agency regulated by the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services. We are required to follow and meet the minimum standards for a child-placing agency as set forth by the Child-Care Licensing Division. However, we never provide just the “minimum.”

 

Our team goes above and beyond. We are genuinely devoted to the birth families, adoptive families, and adoptees we work with. As part of our work, we want to educate others about adoption and the many benefits it can offer.


If you are a woman who has recently discovered an unexpected pregnancy and wishes to know more about our adoption services, please complete our Confidential Contact Form. For couples considering adoption, please fill out our Start the Process form.

 

We look forward to meeting with you soon.

Whether you are expecting or have already given birth, you’ve likely heard that another family can care for and love your baby just as deeply as you. But how can you feel confident in your decision? Careful counseling, confidence in your choice of adoptive parents, and building a lasting relationship are some of the keys to a successful adoption experience.

 

If you’re considering making an adoption plan for your unexpected pregnancy, talking with an experienced agency can help. We can explain the process, guide you through your options, and help you determine if adoption is the right choice for you. Take a closer look at these five valuable tips for navigating your adoption journey.


Tip #1 Choose an Agency That Provides Thorough Counseling

Only by talking through your situation can you know if adoption is the right choice for you. You should understand all your options, including parenting and adoption. A trusted counselor should explain the adoption process in detail and walk you through each stage from beginning to end.


In addition, your adoption counselor should meet with you on a regular basis. At Adoption Angels, we meet with expectant mothers weekly to help you navigate the emotions that come with your pregnancy and adoption plan. From addressing fears and doubts to helping you feel empowered in your decisions, ongoing counseling ensures you are supported every step of the way. This regular guidance can help you clarify what’s best for you and your baby, providing both emotional reassurance and practical advice.


Tip #2: Take Your Time in Deciding if Adoption is Right for You

Not only are you processing the fear and uncertainty of an unplanned pregnancy, but you are also considering your child’s future. Experiencing sadness, doubt, or even guilt is completely normal throughout this process.

 

Choosing adoption is bittersweet. You want what’s best for your baby, but accepting that you may not be the one to raise them can be emotionally challenging. Take time to reflect on your situation: will circumstances change in the near future, or are your goals such that adoption is the best choice? Allow yourself the space to process your feelings and make a decision that is truly right for you.


Tip #3: Be Specific About the Potential Adoptive Parents You Are Looking For

Most adoption agencies wait until you are well into your pregnancy before discussing potential adoptive families. This ensures that you are confident in your decision to move forward with adoption.


When it is time to review prospective families, share as much detail as possible with your adoption counselor. Consider your priorities: do you want your child to have older siblings? Would you prefer an urban or rural home environment? Are hobbies, travel, religion, or cultural heritage important factors for you? The more guidance you provide, the better your counselor can match you with a loving family who aligns with your wishes.

 

Potential adoptive parents undergo a thorough approval process, including background checks, financial and medical disclosures, home studies, and more. Once you have selected a family, the agency can arrange a meeting, either in person or virtually, so you can get to know them personally.


Tip #4: Build a Relationship with the Adoptive Parents and Your Child

Many experts agree that open adoption is the most beneficial approach for everyone involved. While adoption carries natural feelings of loss and sadness, open adoption allows you to maintain a meaningful relationship with your child.

 

Benefits of open adoption include:

  • Knowing your child is loved and cared for
  • Feeling confident in your decision
  • The ability to explain to your child why you chose adoption

 

For your child, open adoption offers:

  • Opportunities to have their questions answered
  • A connection to their heritage and biological family
  • Reassurance that their placement was made out of love


Tip #5 Take Care of Yourself Afterward

Placing your child for adoption is an emotional process, and choosing an open adoption does not eliminate the feelings of grief and loss. Experiencing denial, sadness, anger, or guilt is normal. Regular counseling and support groups can help you process your emotions and heal over time.


You still have an important role in your child’s life. Even if you are not part of their daily routine, your love and reassurance can make a lasting impact. Additionally, take advantage of any resources your adoption agency offers, such as housing assistance, job training, educational programs, or financial support. These resources are designed to help you move forward while ensuring your well-being.


Why You Should Choose Adoption Angels

If you are searching for an adoption agency, consider Adoption Angels. We provide free assistance with living and medical expenses, transportation, and legal services. Our free counseling services are available throughout your adoption journey and beyond, along with 24/7 care and support.

 

Fill out our confidential online contact form or call or text us 24/7 at (210) 227-2229. We are here to help you take the next step toward your future with confidence and peace of mind.

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By Brittany Carvalho December 13, 2024
Hello & Thank You , Just saying thank you isn't enough for us to express our gratitude for considering us to be adoptive parents. We cannot begin to understand how difficult this decision is and that it is not taken lightly. No matter your decision, you are in our thoughts and prayers. We are Amanda and Spencer. We have been together over ten years and have been married for three. From the very beginning of our relationship, we talked about starting a family, but God had different plans for us. Unfortunately, Amanda has faced health challenges that have led to infertility, which won't allow us to have our own biological children. Adoption has touched both our lives in meaningful ways. Spencer's mother was adopted, and she is ecstatic that we are pursuing this path. In addition, Spencer has two adopted cousins, and I have one as well. Both of our families are loving and supportive of our decision, and we are all ready to share unconditional love with a child. Since we both have relatives who were adopted, we believe it is important for your child to understand their adoption story from the very beginning. We look forward to sharing with your child just how special they and their birth family are to us. The relationship between a child and their birth family is significant, and we strongly support an open adoption. There is no such thing as too many people to love and support a child. Raised in the Catholic faith, we plan to instill the same values in our future child. We cherish faith, family, community, friendships, and love, and we will teach the importance of hard work and the achievements it can bring. With both our families and friends nearby, your child will be surrounded by a loving network of support. Thank you for the time to read our story and consider us as potential adoptive parents. We wish you peace on this journey and the very best for you and your child. Sincerely, Spencer & Amanda
By Brittany Carvalho December 1, 2024
Hello & Thank You , Our names are Zack and Lindsay, and we are so grateful that you're considering us to be a potential part of your adoption plan. We can't imagine how hard this is for you or what you're going through. We do understand there’s no way for us to truly grasp the weight of your decision, but we respect and admire your strength and courage. Through this letter and this book, we want to share a little about ourselves with you. We met in 2008, and it was love at first sight. After 6 months of dating, we got engaged and married in 2010. We knew early on in our marriage that we wanted to explore adoption to build a family, and we had lots of love to give. Over time, we grew together, strengthened our love, and prepared our lives and our home to provide a caring, nurturing environment for a new addition to our family. Our adoption journey was difficult due to our issues with infertility, but our motivation to adopt comes from a place of love and a desire to share that love by growing our family. In 2022, we were blessed with adopting a beautiful baby boy, Atlas, who is the light of our lives. It has been our privilege to watch him grow, learn, change, and develop. He’s shown us how wonderful and rewarding adoption can be, motivating us to continue our adoption journey. We have so much respect and admiration for Atlas's birth mom. We regularly share pictures and updates of all Atlas’s changes and activities, and we make sure that he’s aware that we’re sending updates to his birth mom so that as he grows, we can continue to share his adoption story with him. We feel it’s so important that Atlas’s birth mom gets to watch him develop, and we want you to know that we are open to whatever contact you would like. As a family, we want to honor and respect Atlas’s heritage, and one way we’re doing that is by learning Spanish together. Atlas attends a Spanish-speaking school, and we are learning Spanish along with him. We are both driven and have many hobbies, including physical and outdoor activities, reading, cooking, and continuing education. For us, raising children means bringing the most important people in the world along with us on new adventures and learning new skills. We hope this book gives you a look into our lives, who we are as people, who we are as a couple, and who we are as a family. We are thinking of you and wish you well in all you do. Thank you for taking the time to get to know us. Sincerely, Zack & Lindsay
By Brittany Carvalho November 28, 2024
Hello & Thank You , Thank you for taking the time to view our photobook and consider us as adoptive parents for your baby. We are so excited to be adopting a baby and finally becoming parents. We know you will follow your heart and make the best choice in selecting the family for your baby to join. We are Kristin and Mark, and we have been together since November 2020, married in April 2022. When we first started dating, I shared with Mark that because of my reproductive issues, having a biological child might not be possible. He was very understanding and supportive and open to adoption as a way to start our family. Mark and I are surrounded by a huge support system on both of our sides, who cannot wait to have another child join the family. We have lots of nieces and nephews who are anxiously awaiting the arrival of a new cousin to play with. Our parents are looking forward to having another grandchild to spoil. Your child will be raised in a loving Christian home, guided by values of kindness, compassion, integrity, and the importance of family. They will be loved unconditionally and always have unwavering family support in all they choose to endeavor. We look forward to sharing our love of sports and music while encouraging them to explore their own passions. As we continue deepening our faith, we are committed to becoming more involved in church and look forward to attending regularly as a family. While growing up, we both dreamt of one day having our own family and a child to call us Mom and Dad. We can’t begin to understand how difficult this decision is for you. We are praying for strength and clarity during this time and know you will make the best decision. Thank you again for considering us to be the adoptive parents for your baby. It means the world to us. Sincerely, Mark & Kristin
By Brittany Carvalho November 25, 2024
Hello & Thank You , Thank you for taking the time to learn about us. We can only imagine the love, strength, and courage it takes to create an adoption plan, and we want you to know how much we admire and respect you for it. How do you find the words to write to someone you have not yet met, but already feel such deep love and gratitude for? The opportunity you are providing to help create a family that otherwise would not be is something we will never take for granted. We are truly honored to be considered as potential parents for your child, and we hold this moment with the utmost respect. We are Matthew and Lauren. We met in 2018, and on our very first date, we were already dreaming about having a family. We married in 2021 and quickly began planning to grow our little family. We have two dogs, Olly and Marvel, who we know would love a sibling to play with and protect. After learning that Lauren could not get pregnant, we realized that this was God’s way of guiding us toward something just as beautiful — adoption. Adoption holds deep meaning for us. Matt and his brother were both adopted as young children, and he has always known it would be part of his story, too. We are both incredibly grateful to have loving and supportive families behind us as we grow our family through adoption. From the very beginning, our parents, siblings, and extended families have cheered us on with open hearts. They are all so excited to welcome a new child into our lives and cannot wait to share in the joy. This book is a glimpse into our lives - who we are, the life we’ve built together, and the life we hope to share with a child. We hope you feel the love, laughter, and stability that surround us and our home. If we are chosen, we will raise your child with endless love, support, and a deep respect for where they came from- you! We will speak your name with honor and ensure that your child grows up knowing their story began with love. Sincerely, Matthew & Lauren
By Brittany Carvalho November 24, 2024
Hello & Thank You , We Are Matt, Brittni, Braelyn, and Noah! So, who are we really? We are an "always on the go, planning countless trips to the waterpark" type of family. We're full of joy and laughter, and we treat every day as a blessing. Whether it's making a late-night ice cream run in our jammies or cozying up for bedtime snuggles, we savor the simple moments together. We're excited to add another member to our crew and share more Disney adventures, backyard campfires, morning coffee and muffins, and all the love we have to offer. Our journey hasn't always been easy, but it has deepened our relationship and strengthened our faith. From a young age, adoption was something we talked about, prayed for, and felt called to pursue. We've been blessed to have loved ones in our family who are adopted, and we know firsthand how love transcends all circumstances, unconditional and boundless. Coming from large families with close-knit sibling and parent relationships, we've always known we wanted children to fill our hearts and home.  We have one biological child, Braelyn, who fills our lives with indescribable joy. After complications following Braelyn's birth and the life-saving measures that were needed, we are unable to carry another child. After years of prayers, opening our hearts to foster children, and difficult decisions, God led us to pursue adoption. In 2022, we were blessed beyond measure to welcome our sweet little guy, Noah, into our family through adoption. His arrival forever changed our lives in the best possible way, and we are so thankful to have him and his birth family as part of our story. As parents, our main goal has always been and will always be to embrace the uniqueness and individuality of our children. We are their biggest cheerleaders, helping them grow, thrive, and know the deep blessing they are to us. Each child is gifted with their own strengths and interests, and it is our mission to create a loving, safe space where their creativity can flourish and where they always feel comfortable sharing their hearts, passions, and dreams. We promise to provide a joyful, loving home where they can be silly, radiate their true selves, and feel completely at peace. We are beyond excited to continue this beautiful journey and add another child to our family, creating lasting memories and traditions that will span the years. We cannot begin to fully understand the selfless and brave choice you have made in choosing adoption for your child, but we hope that, as you get to know us, you will find comfort, support, and reassurance in each step of this journey. Sincerely, Matthew & Brittni
By Brittany Carvalho November 23, 2024
Hello & Thank You , First and foremost, we want to express our heartfelt gratitude for considering us as adoptive parents for your child. We can only imagine how difficult this decision must be, and we want you to know that your love and concern for your child’s future are deeply admired and appreciated. Our names are Claudia and Anthony. We have been together for eight years, married for six, and have known each other for more than twenty-five. Adoption has always been in our hearts. Our plan was to have a biological child first and then adopt, but God had a different plan. In 2020, we experienced a missed miscarriage, and despite trying again naturally, we were unable to conceive. We explored IVF and fertility treatments, but those were also unsuccessful. This path ultimately led us to adoption and to our greatest blessing, our daughter Lucianna, who joined our family in 2023. She is surrounded by love and brings us so much joy every single day. She cannot wait to be a big sister, and we cannot wait to grow our family again through adoption. If you choose us, your child will always know their adoption story and the incredible love and courage behind your decision. From an early age, they will know their adoption story and grow up knowing how truly loved they are by both you and us. We are committed to providing a nurturing, supportive, and joy-filled home. Your child will be surrounded by a large, loving family, supportive friends, and endless opportunities to learn, grow, and follow their dreams. Most importantly, they will always know they are deeply loved and cherished. Thank you again for considering us as part of your adoption plan. We are ready to welcome another child into our family with open arms and an abundance of love. With sincere appreciation and warmest regards, Anthony & Claudia
By Brittany Carvalho November 22, 2024
Hello & Thank You , Although we haven't met yet, we have been praying for you. We can only begin to imagine the emotion of your situation, and hope that you feel loved and supported no matter where you are on this journey. We respect your strength and your selflessness for considering adoption. We understand that you want what is best for your precious baby, and we do too, whether with you, with us, or with another great family. We are Carrie and Garot, from Wisconsin, and we are honored to be considered to raise your child. After initially meeting in college, we have been happily married for six years. We were blessed with a pregnancy, but at 23 weeks experienced a rare complication that led to the heartbreaking loss of our daughter and placed Carrie in the ICU for a month. Thankfully, she has fully recovered; however, future pregnancies would still carry the same risk. In 2023, we welcomed our daughter Gianna home through adoption. We look forward to her becoming a big sister in the future and to them being able to share their adoption stories with each other. We believe adoption is not about finding a child for a family, but more about finding a family for the child. You will always be a part of your child's family, and we will always respect the decisions you make for your child. We want to thank you for considering us to be part of your story and your child's story. We promise that you will be honored, cherished, and celebrated each day of your child's life. In our home, your child will be loved unconditionally by us, our daughter, our dogs, our families, and our friends. We can't wait to read bedtime stories, visit the zoo, swing on the swings at the park by our home, attend their first recital or sporting event, bring them to their first day of school, and support them throughout all of their accomplishments. It is our goal that your child grows up happy, healthy, kind, and generous. We have always dreamed of having a large family, and we are looking forward to continuing to grow our family through adoption. We want to thank you for considering us as adoptive parents for your child! Sincerely, Garot & Carrie
By Brittany Carvalho November 21, 2024
Hello & Thank You , We are truly excited to meet you and thank you for taking the time to get to know us. Even though we have not met yet, we are already holding you and your child close in our hearts. We admire your strength and bravery, and we promise to be by your side every step of the way. If you choose us, we will welcome your child into our family and home with open arms and open hearts. We will protect and care for your child for the rest of our lives. We will dance in the rain wearing yellow rain boots. We will face the hard times, celebrate the joyful moments, overcome fears, and experience everything life has to offer - all together. We are Iván, Angel, and our sweet daughter, Milana, who cannot wait to become a big sister! Our home is full of energy, love, and laughter. We also have three little barking babies who keep us on our toes and fill our days with endless smiles. Our family is as loving and close-knit as you could ever hope to find. Our path to having another child has been challenging. After trying for years to grow our family, we realized adoption was the right path for us. We are so grateful for this opportunity and ready to love and care for a child with all our hearts. If you choose us, we promise to give your child a safe, loving home filled with happiness and support. To us, life is meant to be lived fully and joyfully. We dance often, sing at the top of our lungs, and laugh nonstop. While we take our responsibilities seriously and have worked hard to build the life and family we cherish, we also believe in not taking ourselves too seriously. We find beauty in the simple things and make sure to slow down and savor them. Everything we do, we do as a team - and our grandmas and grandpas love joining in on the fun and being part of our family adventures. Thank you for taking the time to get to know us. We hold deep respect and gratitude for you as you consider this decision. We hope to have the honor of welcoming your child into our family and sharing a lifetime of love and joy. With love, Iván & Angel
By Brittany Carvalho November 20, 2024
Hello & Thank You , It is nice to "meet" you. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this letter about us. Our names are Caitlin and Josh. We cannot begin to imagine what you may be feeling right now, but we know that you love your baby deeply and want what is best for them. We admire and respect you for your decision to create an adoption plan and recognize the courage and strength it takes to get here. We have been married for 10 years and have wanted to start a family for a long time. After going through IVF and experiencing losses, we felt God calling us to adoption. Two years ago, we were blessed to become parents through the adoption of our daughter. She is truly the answer to every prayer we have ever prayed. We would love for her to grow up with a sibling and feel called to adopt again. We have a wonderful open adoption with our daughter’s birth mom and hope to have that same kind of relationship with you if that is something you would like. We are Christian and very family-oriented with large, loving families close by. It is important to us that our daughter and any future children grow up surrounded by love and support from not just us but from our extended family as well. We are blessed to see our families often and to travel together for holidays and special occasions. It brings us such joy to watch our daughter play with her cousins and experience those special family moments. Our greatest hope is to raise our children to know and love the Lord above all else. We want them to be kind, strong, and self-sufficient with a good work ethic and confidence in who they are. We will always encourage them to discover their passions and will support them however we can so they can reach any goal they may have for the future. We are eager to share more with you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you through this journey. We pray for peace and health through the time ahead. We are happy to answer any questions that you may have about us. We appreciate your time and consideration and would love the opportunity to share more with you. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you on this journey. We are praying for your peace and health in the days ahead, and we would be honored to answer any questions you may have about us. Sincerely, Josh & Caitlin
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