Adoption, in and of itself, involves unique conversations with your child. Biological children never ask questions about their “real” parents or why they don’t look like the rest of the family.
When you adopt transracially, you have another set of questions that you must tackle. Gone are the days when we can say the world is “colorblind.” To be colorblind means you miss the special qualities of each race.
It is up to parents to instill in their children, adopted or not, a strong sense of security and identity. Here are some tips to get the discussion about race and racism started with your adopted child and others.
It Is Never Too Early to Begin a Conversation
Just as it’s never too early to begin presenting the idea of adoption, talking about a child’s race or ethnicity should also start early. Make sure you understand the differences in the terms you discuss.
- Race. Although we are all members of the human race, the word takes on a different meaning for us today. Now, race describes physical characteristics, such as skin color, facial features, hair color and texture, or eye color.
- Ethnicity. Ethnic traits include a person’s culture, language, traditions, and place of origin.
- Nationality. This term refers to the nation in which a person is a legal citizen. So, whether you are of Asian or Mexican descent but were born in the United States, your nationality is American.
- Culture. The beliefs, customs, and behaviors of a particular group.
- Heritage. A person’s heritage is the cultural practices, values, and life experiences that have been passed down through the generations.
Ways to Reinforce the Conversation
Begin from the moment you are matched with a child to understand the various cultural and ethnic traditions. Add the following practices to your life and routines:
- Find children’s books about your child’s ethnicity and culture.
- Instruct family and friends about the words that are acceptable in your family and those that aren’t. Terms like “Oriental,” “colored,” or “mixed-race,” for example, are inappropriate.
- If possible, live in a diverse community. If that’s not possible, find a mentor or group your child can work with to reinforce their culture and ethnic background.
- Celebrate their culture’s traditions and holidays.
- Ensure your child understands all of the terms that others may use to describe them, especially which terms are inappropriate.
- If your child experiences racism or a negative racial incident, help them understand the emotions behind it and teach them how to combat these behaviors. Set a good example for your child by actively fighting against racism.
- Reaffirm regularly that adoption allows families to be created in special ways. Not every family member has to look the same.
Let Adoption Angels Assist You
The team at Adoption Angels strongly believes in educating everyone in the adoption process. If your adoption is transracial, we will help you find the resources you need.
We emphasize the importance of semi-open and open adoptions, allowing you to build a relationship with your child’s biological family. As you interact with them, we encourage you to discuss their specific heritage and cultural traditions.
Adoption is a multi-faceted experience. It’s unique for everyone. At Adoption Angels, we become an integral part of your experience, treating you as if you were family. We help you navigate the specific nuances and ensure you have as much information as possible to have a successful parenting journey.
If you are interested in adopting through Adoption Angels, please start the process by completing our potential adoptive parent form. We will email you an information packet and provide instructions on how to get started.
We look forward to working with you!
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Hello & Thank You , First, we want to thank you for taking a look into our lives and reviewing our book. We can’t even begin to understand what you are going through, but we pray that God continues to give you strength and courage through all the emotions you are feeling. We know that you are a selfless woman just by knowing that you are choosing to create an adoption plan for your child. Our names are Jose and Daniella. We met each other in 2014, and we got married in 2016. A year later, we began trying to have a child of our own. After three years of seeing a fertility doctor and seven years of trying different treatments, we were unsuccessful. Jose and I want to expand our family, and we know adoption is the answer to our prayers. We both have siblings we grew up with, and we hope that we are able to add another sibling to expand our love and family in the near future. We want you to know that your child is already loved by so many, including grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and many more family members. We promise to raise your child with unconditional love, provide many life skills, compassion, respect, morals, and provide any education your child dreams of. We also believe in God and would love to raise your child knowing who God is. If you choose us to be part of your adoption plan, we can assure you that we will share your child’s adoption story with them from the very beginning. We will celebrate the love you have for them and honor the decision you made. Thank you once again for this opportunity to get to know us. This process has been one we prayed and cried about, as having a family of our own has been a difficult journey for us both. As you glance through our book, we pray that you see the love we share with each other, our families, our faith, and the joy we have for the future journey we have prayed about. Whichever decision you make, we want you to know that you will forever be in our prayers. Sincerely, Jose & Daniella
Hello & Thank You , We Are Matt, Brittni, Braelyn, and Noah! So, who are we really? We are an "always on the go, planning countless trips to the waterpark" type of family. We're full of joy and laughter, and we treat every day as a blessing. Whether it's making a late-night ice cream run in our jammies or cozying up for bedtime snuggles, we savor the simple moments together. We're excited to add another member to our crew and share more Disney adventures, backyard campfires, morning coffee and muffins, and all the love we have to offer. Our journey hasn't always been easy, but it has deepened our relationship and strengthened our faith. From a young age, adoption was something we talked about, prayed for, and felt called to pursue. We've been blessed to have loved ones in our family who are adopted, and we know firsthand how love transcends all circumstances, unconditional and boundless. Coming from large families with close-knit sibling and parent relationships, we've always known we wanted children to fill our hearts and home. We have one biological child, Braelyn, who fills our lives with indescribable joy. After complications following Braelyn's birth and the life-saving measures that were needed, we are unable to carry another child. After years of prayers, opening our hearts to foster children, and difficult decisions, God led us to pursue adoption. In 2022, we were blessed beyond measure to welcome our sweet little guy, Noah, into our family through adoption. His arrival forever changed our lives in the best possible way, and we are so thankful to have him and his birth family as part of our story. As parents, our main goal has always been and will always be to embrace the uniqueness and individuality of our children. We are their biggest cheerleaders, helping them grow, thrive, and know the deep blessing they are to us. Each child is gifted with their own strengths and interests, and it is our mission to create a loving, safe space where their creativity can flourish and where they always feel comfortable sharing their hearts, passions, and dreams. We promise to provide a joyful, loving home where they can be silly, radiate their true selves, and feel completely at peace. We are beyond excited to continue this beautiful journey and add another child to our family, creating lasting memories and traditions that will span the years. We cannot begin to fully understand the selfless and brave choice you have made in choosing adoption for your child, but we hope that, as you get to know us, you will find comfort, support, and reassurance in each step of this journey. Sincerely, Matthew & Brittni
Hello & Thank You , It is nice to "meet" you. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this letter about us. Our names are Caitlin and Josh. We cannot begin to imagine what you may be feeling right now, but we know that you love your baby deeply and want what is best for them. We admire and respect you for your decision to create an adoption plan and recognize the courage and strength it takes to get here. We have been married for 10 years and have wanted to start a family for a long time. After going through IVF and experiencing losses, we felt God calling us to adoption. Two years ago, we were blessed to become parents through the adoption of our daughter. She is truly the answer to every prayer we have ever prayed. We would love for her to grow up with a sibling and feel called to adopt again. We have a wonderful open adoption with our daughter’s birth mom and hope to have that same kind of relationship with you if that is something you would like. We are Christian and very family-oriented with large, loving families close by. It is important to us that our daughter and any future children grow up surrounded by love and support from not just us but from our extended family as well. We are blessed to see our families often and to travel together for holidays and special occasions. It brings us such joy to watch our daughter play with her cousins and experience those special family moments. Our greatest hope is to raise our children to know and love the Lord above all else. We want them to be kind, strong, and self-sufficient with a good work ethic and confidence in who they are. We will always encourage them to discover their passions and will support them however we can so they can reach any goal they may have for the future. We are eager to share more with you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you through this journey. We pray for peace and health through the time ahead. We are happy to answer any questions that you may have about us. We appreciate your time and consideration and would love the opportunity to share more with you. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you on this journey. We are praying for your peace and health in the days ahead, and we would be honored to answer any questions you may have about us. Sincerely, Josh & Caitlin
Hello & Thank You , Thank you for considering us to be parents of your child. We cannot imagine what you’re going through and how difficult this must be, but we admire your strength and the love you have for your child. My name is Bre, and my husband is Lane. We began dating in 2018 and were married in 2021. Adoption has been on my heart since before we were married. By our fourth date, I shared with Lane that I likely wouldn’t be able to have kids biologically, and that adoption would likely be the route to starting a family. It may have been early in a relationship for such a heavy conversation, but luckily, it didn’t scare Lane in the least bit. His steady support only deepened my love for him. We are excited to grow our family and can’t wait to be parents. I was a teacher for many years and now work in an administrative role at a school. Between my time in education, time spent with friends’ children, and the wonderful moments I share with my niece and nephews, I’ve gained a lot of experience with children and love spending time with them. Lane is a project manager and enjoys the work-life balance his job provides. He has no work travel and very predictable hours, which we feel will be ideal when raising a child. Lane is amazing with our friends’ kids, our godchildren, and his niece and nephews, all of whom adore him. He’s always the favorite among the kids; they love playing and interacting with Lane and think he is so much fun. We are fortunate to have a huge community of friends and family all nearby. We spend a lot of time with them, and your child will be surrounded by that same love and support. We promise your child a warm, loving home filled with fun, safety, family traditions, and unique experiences. Your child will always be encouraged to cultivate their interests, value learning, embrace their individuality, experience new things, and embody kindness. We will be honest and open with your child about who they are, where they come from, and how much they are loved by both you and us. Whatever your decision may be, thank you for taking the time to consider us. Sincerely, Lane & Bre
Hello & Thank You , We are Chelsea and Nick, and we are truly honored and grateful that you are considering us as potential adoptive parents for your child. We want to acknowledge the immense courage and strength it takes to choose adoption, and we deeply appreciate the thought and care you are giving to this decision. Our journey to adoption has been deeply personal. While we have faced struggles with infertility, our desire to adopt began long before we were married. Growing up, Chelsea was surrounded by adoption. Two of her siblings, her aunt, and her uncle were all adopted, so building a family this way has always felt natural to her. Our faith in God plays a central role in our lives, guiding us to love, serve, and trust His plan. Adoption reflects the love and grace we believe He has shown us, and it is a path we hold very dear. After facing challenges and experiencing a loss, we were so blessed to welcome our daughter, Sofia, into our lives through adoption. She is everything to us, our little miracle and a daily reminder that love and hope can turn any hardship into something beautiful. For us, adoption represents not only the joy and love of expanding our family but also the incredible strength and love of parents like you who make this choice. We are surrounded by family and friends who have embraced our journey and who share in our joy and commitment to providing a nurturing and supportive home. As parents, we hope to offer a child a home where they will feel cherished and encouraged to grow, celebrate their uniqueness, and pursue their dreams in every way possible. Should we be chosen, we want your child to always know how special, wanted, and deeply loved they are—not only by our family and us but also by you. We want you to know that you will always hold a meaningful and cherished place in their life and in our family. Please know that your decision, whatever it may be, is honored and supported. Thank you for considering us as potential adoptive parents and for the hope you bring to families like ours. Please know that you are in our prayers. With heartfelt appreciation, Nick & Chelsea
Hello & Thank You , We want to thank you for taking the time to get to know us. While we cannot imagine the feelings you have or will experience in your decision to create an adoption plan for your child, we hope you feel loved and supported, and we personally want you to know how brave and selfless we think you are. We are Andy and Mandy, and we currently share our home and lives with 2 very different yet equally fun and snuggly doggos, Sophie and Maxx. Andy and I have been married for 8 years and together for just over 20 years. Our early years in our relationship were spent having fun, growing as individuals and as a couple, and then establishing our careers. We knew early into our marriage we wanted a family. We tried for years to grow our family on our own, but through many different tests and treatments, we realized that may not be something we are able to do. Throughout our relationship, we had always been open to adoption; many friends and family have shared their journey with adoption and fostering, so our hearts were always open to this, and we have seen that biology doesn’t define the love and care provided to a child. Because of our family's experience in adoption and fostering, we know the importance of your child understanding their birth story, where they came from, and how truly special they and their birth family are to us. If you decide to make an adoption plan with us, we want you to know how loved not only your child will be, but also how cared for and supported you will be. We are so grateful for your time and hope that our profile provides you the insight into our lives, the people we are, and the love, care, and security we can provide. We want to offer you our sincerest support and wish for you to know what an honor and blessing you may be giving our family we are chosen to be the adoptive parents for your child. Sincerely, Andy & Mandy
Hello & Thank You , Thank you so much for considering us as potential adoptive parents for your child. My name is Brittany, and my husband is Cody. We have been together for over ten years and live here in Texas with our two young boys and three dogs. We feel incredibly blessed that you are taking the time to read our story as we pursue adoption to grow our family. Adoption has always been close to our hearts. Even when we were young and best friends, we often talked about building a big family, long before we understood the medical challenges we would later face. Cody was adopted by his father at the age of two and grew up in a loving home with his parents and three siblings. I was raised in Colorado with my parents and sister, whom I love dearly. We are both blessed with large, supportive families who are excited to walk alongside us on this journey. We truly cannot imagine the emotions you are feeling as you create an adoption plan. Your strength and selflessness are deeply admirable. We want you to feel comfortable, supported, and loved throughout this process. If you choose us, your child will always know their adoption story, the courage behind your decision, and where it all began. Your child will be surrounded by love in our home, with two fierce big brothers who will treasure them, dedicated parents, and a whole community of family and friends. No matter what decision you make, please know you will remain in our thoughts and prayers. Cody and I have faced unimaginable challenges together, and through them we have built a marriage rooted in faith, strength, passion, and unconditional love. Our children are always our top priority. Cody’s dedication has allowed me to stay home and focus fully on raising our children, which has been an incredible blessing. He is hardworking, driven, and devoted to our family, and I am passionate about motherhood and caring for our children each day. Our sons are truly our miracles. While I was able to carry both pregnancies, each came with life-threatening complications. After welcoming our second child, we knew that adoption was the path God was leading us toward. Over the past two years, we have prayerfully and thoughtfully considered this decision, and we believe adoption is the next step in making our family whole. Becoming parents has been the greatest joy of our lives, and we cannot wait to share that love with another child. Love, Cody & Brittany
Hello & Thank You , Thank you so much for taking the time to get to know us. We cannot begin to understand the emotions you may be feeling or what you may be going through, but we recognize your courage and feel truly honored that you would consider us. We want to share a little bit about our family with you. We are Jason, Vanessa, and Alex. We have always wanted to have a family and have known for some time that adoption would be our choice for building a family. I, Vanessa, learned as a teenager that I would not be able to have biological children. When we began dating, I told Jason about my experience with infertility, and I was moved by his support and openness to adoption. In 2023, we were blessed to be matched with amazing birth parents when Alexander was born. Our hearts have been so full, and we have been so grateful to become Alex’s adoptive parents. Both our lives have been touched by adoption. As a toddler, I was adopted by my stepdad, and Jason has a cousin who adopted children after fostering. We also have friends who have adopted, and we have a close friend whose sister placed her child for adoption. We've listened to their experiences to help us understand their unique stories and perspectives. We have a wonderful relationship with Alex’s birth parents. We have in-person visits with them and regularly share photos and updates through texts. We look forward to getting to know you and welcome an open adoption relationship that feels comfortable and right for you. We believe it is important for your child to know their adoption story and that your decision was made from a place of deep love. They will know how special they and their birth family are. We are so excited for the opportunity to build our family. We are committed to providing a loving, nurturing, stable home for your child to thrive. For us, parenting means having unconditional love, lots of story times, holding space for our children’s emotions, encouraging their curiosity, enjoying the outdoors, laughter, faith, and spending time with friends and extended family. We appreciate your time and consideration. We will continue to pray for you and the decision you are making. We truly hope you feel at peace with the decision that feels right for you. Sincerely, Jason & Vanessa
Hello & Thank You , We are Dani, Joe, Emerson, and Benjamin. Nice to meet you! We are so grateful to you for taking the time to get to know us a little better. We realize you may be feeling many different emotions at this time, and we want you to know that we will be supportive of you and your child. We will care about you, too. Our hope in creating this book is that you'll feel the love, laughter, and joy in our daily lives and our adventures, and be able to imagine what a life with us could be like for your child. We have two children, Benjamin and Emerson. After complications from Dani's pregnancy with Emerson that led to a hysterectomy, Dani is no longer able to carry a child. In 2023, we adopted our son, Benjamin, and have an open relationship with his birth family. We are so grateful to his birth family for choosing us and trusting us to raise their child. We are excited to grow our family once again through adoption and are thankful to you for taking the time to get to know us. If you choose us, your child will grow up alongside two sweet and playful big brothers who are curious, energetic, and full of love. They will also have a gentle golden retriever nearby for snuggles and games of fetch. Our home is filled with laughter and connection, and we are intentional about creating a space where our children feel secure, encouraged, and deeply loved. We acknowledge that you have a very important role in your child’s life, and we would like to have an open adoption so that your child will know their story. It is important to us that we honor your wishes regarding the level of openness you would like in your child’s life. We will keep the promises we make together and always put your child’s needs at the center of our decisions. We both value kindness, curiosity, humor, and a love of learning, and we strive to model those values every day. We want our children to grow up feeling unconditionally loved, seen, heard, and supported. Even when life feels challenging, we face it together and always put our kids first. We are so excited to grow our family through adoption and would be honored to give your child that same love and support. Thank you for taking the time to read our story. We would truly love to get to know you. With Love, Joe & Dani
