A phrase like “giving up your baby” is one of the many hurtful misunderstandings about adoption. Far from giving up, a woman who considers adoption is moving forward, taking charge, and creating a plan for the future. Adoption is courageous, selfless, and difficult all at the same time.
Where Did “Giving Up” Begin?
For centuries, the stigma of being an unwed mother was so horrible society forced women to give their babies up to strangers. Usually, a woman had no idea where or how the adoptive parents raised her child. Was the child loved? Safe?
The birth mother and child did not know of one another. They both spent a lifetime wondering about the other, making adoption a painful, lonely experience.
For adoptive parents, society regarded infertility as shameful. People believed couples were “cursed by God” for not having children. Therefore, when a couple had the chance to adopt, they often kept the adoption secret and never even told the child.
Why Shouldn’t We Say “Giving Up”?
When someone “gives up,” it means they’re quitting. The person can’t or won’t continue what they started to do. An expectant or birth mother may place her baby for adoption or make an adoption plan, but a caring, loving mother never gives up.
A woman who chooses adoption for her unplanned pregnancy wants the best for her child. She recognizes she cannot give the child what they need. Out of love, she carefully selects other parents who can provide the love, safety, financial security, and future she cannot.
Why Do People Still Say “Giving Up”?
Although society’s stigmas and the adoption process have changed, the hurtful language hasn’t. Out of misunderstanding, people still regard adoption as “giving up.” Even some adoption agencies or lawyers still use this phrase.
Choose To Make An Open Adoption Plan
Today, the majority of adoptions in the United States are open. An open adoption plan means the expectant or birth mother carefully selects the adoptive couple. She looks through various portfolios to find the couple with the lifestyle she wants for her child.
The couple and the expectant mother can meet and build a relationship before the baby is born if they would like. As the child grows, everyone shares photos and information. The child has the chance to ask questions and learn about their birth family, and the birth mother gets the assurance that her child is safe and loved.
Beginning the Process
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to explore the adoption process, contact Adoption Angels. We realize how difficult this decision can be, and we want you to have as much information as possible.
If you are currently pregnant, we provide free assistance for living and medical expenses, free counseling and legal services, and 24/7 support and care. If you have already given birth, there is still time to place your child for adoption.
Call or text us 24/7 at (210) 227-2229 or fill out our confidential contact form. An adoption counselor will reach out to you as soon as possible. Only you can decide if making an adoption plan is right for you. We’re here to help along the way.
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